Advice to a Younger Me
Looking back on the past few years, my life has been an absolute rollercoaster.
I’ve let go of old friends, but also made new best friends. I’ve moved across the country- not once, but twice. I’ve been in a few ‘relationships’; each and every one very different. I’ve grown and matured more than I could’ve imagined. And finally, I’ve learned a whole shit ton about how to live life.
So here’s a list of the few most important thing’s that I’ve learned in the past few years. All the things I wish I’d known earlier and practiced sooner. However, I’m a strong believer in the saying: “better late than never.” So here I am, sharing some of my self-proclaimed “wisdom” with you wonderful humans.
Let me start with: 1.) Drink yo damn water.
Yeah you. Go grab a glass right now & take a sip. It’s so good for you. It keeps you healthy. So just do it for me, would ya?
2.) You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Yeah, read that again. And internalize it. Might as well just full send. I can tell you from firsthand experience- life moves way to damn fast. And frankly speaking, what’s the worst that can happen? Getting rejected? That sounds better than not trying at all.
3.) The little things are so very important.
Keep a list of things that make you smile and little moments that you’re grateful for. Whenever you’re feeling lost or a little bit anxious, come back to this list. I guarantee it’ll get you out of a funk and make you smile. Here are some of the things on my (very extensive) list:
watching the sunrise, and knowing how few people are seeing what I’m seeing$7 bouquets of flowers from the farmer’s market (if they cost more than $7, it's not as exciting)sleeping with my windows open in the summergolden hourOceans Eleven, Oceans Twelve, & Oceans Thirteen (movie series)Michael B Jordan’s face (how could it not make you smile?)late night cotton candy ice cream & strawberry sprinkle donutsthis Vine compilationTwizzlers (of course, can’t forget those)
4.) Be careful where you spill tea- because spilled tea always leaves stains.
If you wouldn’t say something to a persons face- don’t say it behind their back. Beyond that- if you talk shit about someone, its more of a reflection on your personality as opposed to a testament to their personality.
From past experience, I’ve never come out unscathed from saying mean stuff or talking shit. So I’ve learned that it’s better to not talk shit at all. Also- it just helps create a more positive outlook on the world. Who doesn’t want that?
5.) Hard work pays off.
For each and every single thing you do- do it with the conviction that you won’t ever get a second chance. Putting in hard work is difficult throughout the process but leaves you with the most fulfilling feeling at the end. One of my favorite quotes from a movie is:
“I've always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have.”
Bonus points if you figure out what movie it’s from ;)
6.) Don’t touch your face.
Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face. Don’t touch your face.
And if I haven’t hammered it into your head yet, let me say it again- your hands are hella grimy & so don’t touch your face.
7.) Don’t invest more than you receive in a relationship/friendship.
The sweet spot for a healthy friendship/relationship is that it should be 50/50. If you’re investing more than you receive, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
Don’t get me wrong- I’m not saying that it should be a “tit for tat” transactional type of thing. However, I mean that if you notice an imbalance in how much you give or receive in a long-term relationship, it’s time to rethink where both people stand. Your time, love, and affection should be respected and valued the same way that you respect and value the other individuals’.
8.) Losing weight is 80% watching what you eat & 20% working out.
(PSA: this is just from my experience) I didn’t start losing weight until I started watching my diet and eating healthy. The slightest little changes in what and how much I ate on a daily basis made a huge difference over time. In short, I learned about moderation. I love fast food- so I haven’t cut Chick-fil-a or Oreo McFlurries out of my diet, but I’ve just learned that they can’t make up every meal of the day.
Also- eat slow. Listen to your stomach, and drink water before eating. Our brain processes hunger and dehydration the same way- so sometimes dehydration can get confused with hunger. Also, like I said earlier- drink water.
Since we’re on an 80/20 trend…
9.) Being considered attractive is 80% confidence & 20% physical features.
One of the most kind & honest compliments I’ve ever received was from a boy. We were hanging out alone for the first time, and he didn’t know me incredibly well by then. However, he said (and I remember it word for word): “Can I be honest? You’re one of the most confident people I’ve ever met, and that’s so attractive. I wish I could be as confident as you.” And I kid you not, my whole heart melted right there on the spot- because I looked into his eyes and knew he meant it.
You’re a bad bitch (or dude). Once you acknowledge the fact- so will others.
10.) Carbs taste 10000x better when an Italian boy buys them for you.
Yeah that one’s self explanatory.
11.) Don’t be afraid to cry if you need to.
Just let all the tears out and you’ll feel SO much better. I’m not an emo gal, but every other week since I’ve moved to New York I’ve had a little anxious girl moment. In the heat of things I have no clue what to do or how to feel better- so I just cry. And honestly- it makes me feel so much better. I get all of the tears out of my body and weight off my shoulders and then pick up my shit and keep going.
Plus, on top of everything- crying makes your skin clear and pretty.
12.) There’s a big difference between genuinely liking someone vs. liking the idea of them.
Whether you’re older or younger than me- if you don’t take anything away from this post- at least think about this one.
A perception of someone, that we build up in our mind, can be extremely tempting. I’ve caught myself daydreaming about what it’d be like to be with someone so many times. Whether it be someone you’re romantically into or even someone you’d like to be friends with.
I’ve had my heart hurt time & time again by setting lofty ideas of what it would be like with someone- without really considering if I genuinely vibe with the person under their skin. Don’t get too lost in the “idea of someone” and forget that you both might not be a great match in reality.
13.) Being a judgmental bitch isn’t cute.
Once upon a time, I used to be an extremely judgmental bitch. Not because I had a cold heart- but because every time I felt threatened by someone, I would become overly judgmental towards them as a coping mechanism.
During senior year of high school, I became good friends my friend’s prom date. Prior to prom, I quite literally hated him. No real reason why, but I did.
He’s the last person you would expect me to be friends with, but something between us clicked as we got to know each other better. Even though we had never spoken to each other during high school, we became close over the summer after senior year.
He once said, “Rish, don’t you ever wonder all the friendships you missed out on in high school because you judged someone too early? Like you judged me too early, but here we are.” And well, that really hit me sideways- and I wouldn’t ever want someone (you) to make the same mistake.
If you got this far, congratulations. The next part is definitely my favorite.The background of my phone is the following quote. As cliche as it sounds- my eyes glance across it every morning, and it helps keep me aligned. I don’t know who wrote it, but I’m convinced they wrote it specifically for me. Maybe it’ll help you too. Here it is:
Wake up early. Drink coffee. Work hard. Be ambitious. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up. Do well, live well and dress really well. Do what you love, love what you do. It's time to start living.
xoxo RGR
p.s. I have so much more I could say, but I’m gonna leave it there for today. Pt. 2, maybe? Lmk.
