a statistical anomaly

When a boy passes a certain threshold of attractiveness, my brain shuts down. I automatically assume that they wouldn’t be into me and call it a day.

But think about it- making an assumption before someone’s even gotten a chance to look at me? How silly is that.

Anyways, this past weekend I met a boy. A very cute boy.

& here’s the story:

While out and about on Saturday evening, a cute guy caught my eye as he walked in my direction. I stared at him, just to appreciate how cute he was. But all of a sudden, his eyes met mine & before I knew it, our eyes were locked.

In the world of eye contact, let me break down how things work.

A quick little .5 second glance means accidental eye contact. When it hits 1 second, it starts to mean a friendly mutual recognition of each others’ existence. If we’re out here with a 5 whole seconds of eye contact, it means that you’re definitely checking each other out. And finally, if you hit anything more than 5 seconds- it means that you’ve done all of the prior, liked what you saw, and are both in the middle of a telepathic “I’m down if you are” conversation. All of that, with just some eye contact.

Well my friends- this boy and I made eye contact for at least 10 seconds before he stopped right in front of me, and without blinking said: “join us?”

And you know I sure as hell did.

Going back to what I said before- after seeing him, my brain shut down because I automatically assumed he wasn’t into me. So, the whole interaction was incredibly unexpected. I was caught off guard, and not ready for the following.

My friend and I joined him and his friends- mingled, drank, the whole works. And after a bit- he walked around, sat down right next to me, and we started chatting. He’s a Dutch boy from the East coast that graduated from an SEC school and is NOT an investment banker (someone cue the applause). Sitting side by side turned into his arm around the back of my chair, which then turned into our legs touching, and eventually we were closer than a causal distance. I kept the sarcasm and wit on hand, and he was unexpectedly nice (?) for the fact that he was also incredibly attractive. Which probes the question- is it legal to be both hot and kind? Or have I just been hanging around hot investment banker douchebags for too long?

I’ve been under the impression that: in New York, being hot, rich, smart, or kind are mutually exclusive qualities. You’re defined by one of those traits, and only one of those traits. Therefore, almost every single human in New York City fits pretty neatly into their little box, and thats that. You can quote me on that if you want.

My box is “smart”. It’s the one personality trait that I’m convinced keeps people coming back for more. The intelligence comes with a certain amount of wit attached, which means that banter with me is unparalleled. The rest of the traits come in varying levels, but they wouldn’t blow anyone out of the water. So, when you ask where I derive my confidence from- I think its the fact that 96% of the time, I’m convinced that I’m the smartest person in the room. I don’t ever say it out loud, and I sure as hell don’t act like it- but internally convincing my brain that I’m smarter than others is what mentally gives me the confidence to do the damn thing. So- if things don’t go the way planned, I can always tell myself “oh, it’s okay- you’re smart you’ll be fine.”

Narcissistic? Yeah, kinda. But I never said I wasn’t a painful narcissist. I mean, think about it, you have to be a certain level of egotistical bitch to have a entire blog dedicated to your life, right?

Anyways, one thing led to another, and turns out we kinda sorta like each others’ personalities too. Sounds a bit too good to be true. Now this boy and I have been talking and texting for a few days and not only is he hot, but he’s also equally kind. In addition- the gap between meeting someone on a Saturday evening and texting on a Monday afternoon is massive. One of them means, “you’re hot, I’m hot, and I don’t have work tomorrow,” and the other means “how has your day been? I care about how you are”- very different. Therefore, I’m convinced that I probably made him up in my head.

OR maybe (just maybe)- being hot, rich, smart and kind aren’t mutually exclusive. And in that case, maybe (just maybe), I’m both smart AND hot. Which would mean that this whole mental block of invalidating myself in the eyes of hot guys really needs to stop.

So yeah, that’s whats going through my head at the moment. I’m currently talking to a boy that’s either a ghost or a statistical anomaly. Either of which sounds like an interesting time, so let’s see where this goes.

xoxo RGR

p.s. What should we call this one?

edit: It’s been decided. We’re calling him “blue eyed boy”

(except not in an ironic or derogatory way)